i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
