They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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