yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
