I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
