I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
