walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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