when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
