I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize