If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
