you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Randomize
