too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I will pee on everything he values.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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