this boner is exhausting
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
