So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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