i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
