And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
