I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
