I look better un-naked...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You are the jesus of drinking
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
