what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish I only lived at night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
