I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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