Only a mothe r could love this liver
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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