We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
