There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
