you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
