doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
