my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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