im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
