It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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