Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
