ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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