apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
