To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
