return my video game
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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