brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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