I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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