Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
