listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
operation harelip BJ is a go
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize