How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
