He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
