We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
