Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
