I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
