Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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