Do you still have your period?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
