R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
