My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
