Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
