Tell her she can't have a vagina
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
