yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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