I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
