They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
