Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You ate ashes out of my bong
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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