So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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