I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
