there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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