why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
