remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
