Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
