What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
