butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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