Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
