Porn is love you can see.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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