dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
