Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
