watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He better not be in your backpack
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
