just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
