im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
