Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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