it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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