he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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